Remind me to tell yall…

Remind me to tell yall why I focused my life and doctoral research on healing from the trauma of navigating our pre-k-20 educational system as Black women and girls. Both of my masters are in education (urban ed and educational leadership) and my doctoral research is centered on the very things I’m talking about now. Anti Blackness is already hard to name and heal in our bodies as Black people in general. I however only know about healing from anti Blackness in my body and in the bodies of the women who raised me and who I love and serve. I want to share with you guys why I am so passionate about calling out the harms of white female educational leadership and the practices of all educational leaders that are harmful to Black people-especially low income Black people,

1. White female educational leadership and norms dominate our country’s classrooms…our classrooms are dominated by Black and Brown children. Hella them Karens be cutting up apples for your kids during the weekday and call the police on you on saturday.


2. Wealth gap. As a Black woman, me speaking out this way against anti Blackness in white female educational leadership would have killed me financially, emotionally, and professionally. I speak out loudly because of my own need for healing through sharing my story and my own privilege and access due to whiteness, education and class. I am married to a white person whose parents were my professors and high school teachers at Emiliano Zapata Street Academy. They are anti-racist white educators who know that everyday they must unpack the ways that anti-Blackness is seeped into every system in our country and how white privilege and access charges them to“ Do Justice, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly.” In the early 80s they were able to acquire a house in East Oakland at a time when not many of our white brothers and sisters were trying to buy or live in Oakland. They did this not because it was gentrified Oakland and it was cool to be woke….they like many of you white folks now-were in the middle of a time in the world when white folks were being held accountable very loudly to support Black folks as allies. They were students at San Francisco State and UC Berkeley and were schooled by Black folks who started the first Black student union and Black newspapers about how to be an ally to Black folks. They bought this house in the hood and due to their white skin could avoid being not sold the house due to anti-Blackness. They also lucked out because all the other white folks had moved to San Leandro with white flight. Prior to buying this house they were committed to becoming anti racist educators at a time when houses weren’t worth as much as they are now in Oakland. When I quit my job that house and gentrified Oakland housing market protected me from the economic risk, slander, and gaslighting that comes from speaking up against anti-Blackness in our educational system.-Remind me to tell y’all what happens to Black Mothers and Black female educational leaders who don’t have that type of protection and still choose to stand up and speak against anti-Blackness…


3. Whiteness protects. After I quit my job I called my partner and told him “I’m quitting, you got me? I need to focus on solutions with and for my sisters”. I knew we would take a HUGE pay cut however I didn’t have to worry about my partner experiencing the musty tangled world of tryna get a job in anti-Black systems. I also had in-laws who said “study Necie, build Necie, we got you”. Not everybody has access to the protection of white skin or generational wealth. I could not do this type of research and work in an anti-Black educational system…that type of stress kills poor Black women-or makes it easier for y’all to tell ALL Black women we are lying when we say we are in pain during childbirth…but that’s another post. I knew that even if my partner couldn’t get a good teaching job or even if he wasn’t a good teacher-he could hustle and not be hassled by the police for an “alleged” counterfeit bill. Even after my partner lost a teaching job he was able to use his privilege and get reassurances that he would be able to get a job for the next school year. His whiteness gave him the protection and the privilege to be able to get a teaching job fast, gather support from his parents and mentors about finding a new job…and create a safety net for me to build my vision, go to school—and grieve from being gaslit after witnessing the continual push out of poor Black children and families….he could do all of that…even in his failure as a new white educational leader himself. Childddddd, Remind me to tell y’all that the unpacking of whiteness and all its juicy delicious privileges is the job of ALL WHITE PEOPLE….even yall who swear we want y’all at cookouts or who have Black friends, Black kids or Black partners…


4. Whiteness protects through generational wealth-Not all Black folks have that cause ya know slavery, the prison pipeline and the racial wealth gap. 


5. And whiteness protects outrage-White people can speak up about the treatment of Black students and Black mothers without the fear of losing their job and not having the safety of white skin to avoid being discriminated against if they need to get a new job. Not all Black folks can afford to piss off white leaders who gaslight.


My trauma is real and still is being processed and healed. If it weren’t for my work in wellness this amount of pain at the hands of white female educational leadership would have been the straw that made me really back slap someone and lose my mind. POINT…It makes it easier to process that trauma as a Black woman with the economic help and support of white folks who swear that they care and want to do their part to dismantle not just racism— but the impacts racism has had…and continues to have on the economic safety of Black people…

We don’t even always know we are experiencing anti-Blackness at times. We just try to survive, laugh, navigate systems….and look damn fly doing it. That’s why it’s important to name and tell our stories so that the shame, pain and internalized racism can go back to those who planted it!! Thats why its important for white folks to speak up for us with them coins and them words…..P E R I O D

I’m here sisters!! I see all of your stories that you’ve been sharing with me in my inbox!! I will be sharing more of them and ensuring to protect your privacy if that is what you desire.…remind me to keep telling yall how not everyone can afford to speak up about injustices again..

Remind me to tell you why I go hard for Black women-with a special focus on POOR Black women who don’t have access to over processed academic theory to name things….or the power of class to spray expensive perfume over shame….

cause up until 4 years ago I lived in this body for 28 years as a poor Black woman who no one would defend…

#remindme2tell (if you don’t know where this is all coming from…go to my page and follow all the twitter screen shot post from today)

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.–Maya Angelou

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